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Photographed by Zac Zenza
Photos  by Luis Solarat

Emotionally and spiritually, the most significant things that happen to us are double-edged. The happiest experience can hold tremendous darkness on the other side of its coin, when its brightest moment passes, leaving only the memory. That pain however, can be beautiful and instructive of one's own strength and ability to endure, to heal.

This piece attempts to embody the metabolic processing of an emotional and spiritual ordeal in life. 

Through a consciously undertaken physical ordeal, the physical pain serves as an emblem and channel of release for emotional and mental pain, which creates blockage or paralysis.
Through a process of surrender and acceptance, this... "raw material" is effectively transmuted into strength, wisdom and possibility for new growth. 

An act of letting go.

A blood-rite for purification.

A Portal towards the New…


The disembodied voice speaks out the words first. (read bellow)
It comes from aspect of the Self that functions as a guide and wisdom giver to the aspect of self in thick of it. 

Some call it higher self or intuition, or just a deeper part of one's consciousness... the label matters not. 

The voice comes to hold the space and guide the ritual in energy and intention. 

The gong sets the pace and marks the intervals. 
The needles go in one by one.

Each element they represent is honoured, deeply felt and reflected upon.

An interim moment passes then... where there is longing to speed up the process, to free the self fast from all the needles and all the elements they represent, all at once in one great frenzy of release and be done with it. 

But life does not work this way....
Upon the dawning of this realisation, the process is done mindfully and step by step. 
The embodied voice now guides the way, in full presence. The live gong sounds more intense too. 

Each of the needles comes out one by one.

Each element they represent is paid the appropriate blood-tribute, leaving a permanent mark on the skin - a powerful reminder. 

When the physical is also altered there is truly no going back to the same place. 

Liberation process and commemoration of all that was now achieved, finally the pass through the portal becomes possible. 

The ritual comes to a close as I walk out of the hall. 

[Video of video documentation from the live performance will be coming soon.]

Co-performed with Venus Raven, at Modern Panic IX, London 2018. Lighting design by Patricia Polo. 

Concept, performance and all original sound by Alice Karveli.

One for sorrow

One for Joy

One for the Self you try to destroy


One for pleasure 

One for its lack

One for mistakes you cannot track back…

to Source


One for the dream and 

One for the nightmare

One for the scream and 

One for the song


One for longing 

One for loss 

One for the blessing

and one for its curse


One for chaos

One for form

One for the Wholeness that gets torn 

And one for the way and the wait…

to be reborn.

The Portal Wound.JPG

Early Concept design.

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